The New York Crank: “Security detail? We don’t got no stinking security detail.”

…So Mike, just stand up like a man and tell them, “Supply your own damn security. No more police motorcade for you, pal. Now that you’ve cut our budget, we simply don’t have the money to provide for your personal security while the rest of our citizens are endangered.

“So no fleets of cop cars wasting time outside the doors of your hotel when you speak. No more disruptive traffic blockades clogging the city and preventing its endangered citizens from going about their business while you whiz from Manhattan to the airport in bulletproof safety. We’re no longer supplying any of the funny-looking security guys with black suits, weird lapel pins, and coils of wire coming out of their ears.

“Stick all of your own security costs in your own budget and then explain to the American people where you come off billing them a few million bucks so you can go to New York and raise a few million to support candidates who want to destroy the Social Security system.

“But if you do supply your own motorcade, be aware that we will have cops at every intersection, ready to stop your vehicles and ticket you if you or your people even think of running a red light.

“In other words, what security detail? This is landmark-free New York, pal. We don’t got no stinking security detail.”

Love it.